Absolutely nothing?

16 Feb 2013

I still feel nothing. No more pain, no more tears. I can't understand what this is. I used to feel so pained over the issue, and now the pain has washed out and there is absolutely nothing.

I find myself thinking. Is that denial? Is that acceptance?

I find myself wanting to just forgive this matter so easily and move on with our lives. But how can I forgive so easily, knowing the horrendous things he had done? It'll be too easy to him. I'll not be standing up for myself.

I no longer want to torture or hurt him. Instead I want to comfort him. Why is that so? Am I a masochist? He cheated, girl He cheated and lied.

I looked at pills. I wanted to attempt an overdose. But it faded. I just wanted to sleep.

Why are you so kind? I hate you for that. You are nothing but a weak, needy person. You are disgusting. All you should care about are your feelings, what the hell are you doing thinking about his?? Him and his persuasive, sweet words of nothing. Are you stupid enough to believe him again???