The Confession

12 Feb 2013

A petty quarrel leading to a dramatic confession and a shattered world. I've always known that there was this point in time when everything changed. Everything in our relationship changed. He used to be happy, to be able to smile; and suddenly he was brooding, depressed and reluctant to speak. I never asked cause I always thought it was my fault that he became like that, that it was my stubbornness that kept hurting his heart and nothing else.

Near the point in time, I realized his ex-girlfriend texting him. When he saw that I have seen the incoming text, his hand moved so fast, and he was discrete. I didn't ask, cause once again I chose to trust him. But from then I had an inkling, a seed growing deep in the darkest depths of my heart, that something was wrong.

We did everything the same. He berated me terribly for lying, he thrashed me if I appeared hypocryptic and he warned me of cheating. I took it, feeling like I was the worse girlfriend to have ever walked the earth. What he wanted I gave, not knowing what I have truly done to myself.

12 Feb 2013. After me heavily pushing him and forcing him to reveal himself to me, I was faced with the worst nightmare I have ever dreamt of. He lied, cheated, and was a hypocrite. He was EVERYTHING he had thrashed me for. He cheated with his ex-girlfriend, in his house, in his room, on his bed. He cheated two years ago, and he did the same with me seeming without regret for two years. "Exact revenge" was his reason, in addition to being drunk and depressed.

I was calm. Everything seemed to whirl before me. I read the words, but it didn't sink in. I read it again, and it still seemed so surreal. No tears, no emotions. Just pure rationality and logic. It didn't overwhelm, but I know it happened.

A friend happened to text, and I told the friend what happened. Still, I was calm and rational, surprisingly. No pain, no hurt.

But after i went home, I couldn't sleep for the first time in my life. I rolled in bed. I closed my eyes, my body exhausted but my mind alert. I fell asleep for two hours and I woke up. The memory clear in my head.